Sunday, December 9, 2012

Blog Tour: (Character Interview + Excerpt) The Homeschoolers: The Ballad of Squirtina By Henry Circle




I would like to welcome Henry Circle to The Avid Reader today. Thanks for stopping by Henry. Please be sure and check out Henry's novel The Homeschoolers: The Ballad of Squirtina. Also I have a Character Interview with “Ricky” from Henry Circle’s The Homeschoolers. Don't forget to enter the giveaway.




The Ballad of Squirtina banner






The Ballad of Squirtina book cover

Book Title: The Homeschoolers: The Ballad of Squirtina

Series: The Homeschoolers Book 1

Author: Henry Circle

Genre: Young-Adult

Publisher: Sea Star Publishing

Ebook:

Pages: 110







PURCHASE

The Homeschoolers: The Ballad of Squirtina




Amazon





BOOK DESCRIPTION

The Homeschoolers: The Ballad of Squirtina




A mortifying episode of in-school diarrhea sends witty and skeptical Christina Begoni flying into the arms of a holy-rolling homeschool group where she meets "Teenage Sex Incarnate," David, and his alarmingly sweet sister, Sunny. The group is complete when they are joined by two other hardened public school students, Christina's mustachioed younger brother and one deliciously rowdy redneck bully for a raucously funny and often gripping adventure on the Mississippi River. Will Christina be able to fight the wild river, a gun-toting grandpa and her own hilariously heathen ways to hold this group of unlikely friends together?





EXCERPT

The Homeschoolers: The Ballad of Squirtina




I stretch my hand up to him, and he bends with his legs wide to stabilize himself. When Ricky pulls, I start gliding through the mud. I can feel the strength and power from his seemingly boney arms. I guess he's what you'd call wiry. But the mud seems to be trying to hold me down. I feel the mud rolling my shorts and underwear down to my ankles. I try to push my free arm under the gunk to hold onto my bottoms, but with one more yank from Ricky, they are long gone. I have no shorts. No underwear. “Stop! Stop a second!” I scream. I scrunch my knees up and wiggle my arms down through the muck trying to find my clothes. I extend my legs down and feel around with my toes. I try feeling through the mud with my hands again. And my feet and hands at the same time. Nothing.

“What on earth are you doing?” Ricky asks. “Give me your hand so I can go on and get you out.” He sticks his fingers out to me.

My eyes are misting over. “I can't come out.” I can't believe this is happening in front of Ricky Kelly. I wish I could just disappear.

Searching the pit with his eyes, he asks, “I can't see nothing. Too dark. What happened? Something caught your foot?”

The last thing I want to do is admit I'm literally half naked, but we have to get out of here and find our friends before something terrible happens to them. This isn't kiddie kiddie play time hour so I buck up and confess, “I lost my stupid shorts in here. I can't find them.”

“You aren't the first girl I've seen in her underwear. Gimme your damn hand.”

“I lost those, too. Can I have your shorts, please?”

Ricky brightens, blooming into a grin as bright as a garden sunflower. Even in the dark of the evening, I can see the foolish look on his face. “Ricky, hand me your shorts,” I repeat.





CHARACTER INTERVIEW

with “Ricky” from Henry Circle’s The Homeschoolers




Q. How’s homeschooling going these days, Ricky?

A. Ah, man. Alright, I reckon. Pretty much like North Yokel High: just another place to catch up on my sleep and practice blaming my farts on somebody else. But we is reading one of them classic books right now. I ‘member that much. Wurthering Originals or The Scarlet Pumpernickel - something like that. The good thing is Kip and David, they don’t bother me none. But them girls, Sunny and Squirtina – excuse me; Christina- I forgot she don’t like to be called Squrtina. My bad. Anyways, I was just gone say that they hen peck the hell out of me. Sunny’s always up in my grill like a Jehovah’s Witness about Jesus, and Christina thinks I need to learn about the “cultural superiority of the French.” Oh, hell. Wait a minute...You ain’t one of them Witnesses or one of them Frenchy Fries; are ya? Ya’ll just cut me some slack if I say something stupid. Remember, you’re boy here is straight from the trailer.



Q. Some readers have said they sensed sexual tension between you and Christina in The Homeschoolers: The Ballad of Squirtina.

A. Heheh. They said that? What Christina say? You ask her? Well, she’s all hot and heavy with David. But, hey, I’m single. And I took a look over at that follower box and seen that you got some pretty good-looking women up in here. Any girls wanna hang, drink a little moonshine, watch a little Duck Dynasty- give me a holler.



Q. What do you want to do when you grow up, Ricky?

A. I got me a little business going already with one my uncles. Raccoon trapping business. We shoot them thangs, and these ‘ol boys from Russia buy them for the fur coats or coon skin caps or something. I never ask ‘em cause I get scared that’ll make ‘em think. Then, they’d prolly figure out that putting a coon skin on your head is a dumb thing to do. When that happens, I gotta come up with another way to get cigarette and strip club money. For my Grammaw. She loves the man candy.



Q. Thanks for your time, Ricky. Best of luck..

A. Hold on, now. Got something to plug. I’m a celebrity now. Even got me my own story.“A Very Ricky Sunday.” We giving it away for free ‘cause I told Henry, “You think you Larry the Cable Guy or somethin’? You ain’t that funny. You gone have to give that shiznit away.” But it’s about when Christina took one Grammaw’s weed pies up into a church. And people call me dumb.





PURCHASE (Free)

A Very Ricky Sunday

A "Homeschoolers" Shorty




Smashwords







ABOUT THE AUTHOR






Author 2

Henry was born in a hidden cave on the Mississippi River. She was sent to an awful place called Kah-lidge for many years to learn to be a writer. Her hope is that her first series of young adult novels, The Homeschoolers, will make you laugh every now and then, get you excited about this spectacular thing called life, and teech ewe to spehl as gut as she do. ;)







ONLINE LINKS




Blog

Facebook

Website

Amazon







GIVEAWAY






a Rafflecopter giveaway






Be sure and check out all the other stops on the tour.



TOUR SCHEDULE




Dec. 3rd- The Insane Writings of a Crazed Writer (Character Guest Post)

Dec. 4th- Juniper Grove (Author Interview)

Dec. 5th- The News in Book (Excerpt)

Dec. 6th- Off the Page (Book Soundtrack Post)

Dec. 7th- Sweet n' Sassi (Review)

Dec. 8th- Identity Discovery (Excerpt)

Dec. 9th- The Avid Reader (Character Interview/Excerpt)

Dec. 10th- A Bibliophiles Thoughts on Books (Review)

Dec. 11th- Musings of a Writing Reader (Guest Post)

Dec. 12th- A Book Lover's Library (Review)

Dec. 13th- Reading with Holly (Excerpt)







TOUR SCHEDULE LINK



This tour was put together by FMB Blog Tours

2 comments:

Henry said...

Thank you so much for having me, doll! What can I say? I love your blog. It looks great. Such personality and spirit!

The Avid Reader said...

Thank you and thanks for visiting.