Vampires Suck
Edited by Giovanni Valentino
Each story has a different take on the legend of the Vampire. Some hide from the darkness and others can walk in the daylight. Some are cold, calculated killers and others are full of teenaged angst. Some are held at bay by garlic but others love Italian food.
Here is a collection of stories designed to poke fun at the whole vampire genre. We have funny stories about the troubles of immortality, about the crazy life of the vampire slayer, and about just how the different vampires get along.
But in all the stories, one element is always there.
Original Stories by:
Giovanni Valentino -
Will Adams - Nicholas Knight -
Arthur Carey - Gregg Chamberlain - Tim Jeffreys -
T.R. Clark - Evan Dicken - Dan Doerflein
Arthur Carey - Gregg Chamberlain - Tim Jeffreys -
T.R. Clark - Evan Dicken - Dan Doerflein
Tracy S. Morris - John
H. Dromey - Tim J. Finn -
Kerrie Strong -C.J. Andrew - Aaron Gudmunson -
James E. Guin - Sierra July - Alexis Larkin -
Daniel McPherson - M. Kelly Peach - Paul Popiel -
Robert Morrisey- Barry Rosenber - Joe Mogel
Kerrie Strong -C.J. Andrew - Aaron Gudmunson -
James E. Guin - Sierra July - Alexis Larkin -
Daniel McPherson - M. Kelly Peach - Paul Popiel -
Robert Morrisey- Barry Rosenber - Joe Mogel
J. Adrian Cook - Simon
Kewin -Victor Gischler
Here is a list of some of the stories in Alternate Hilarities: Vampires Suck.
Not All That Glitter Is Gold By Giovanni Valentino
It takes all kinds. The Eternal club takes all kinds of vampires into its elite club. Old, Feral, day-walkers. But is the newest type of vampire too far for them to take?
The Other Interview With A Vampire By C.J. Andrew
A vampire’s life isn't always what it seems in the movies, you might be able to live forever but you can't predict the future.
Give Me a V!...Give Me an A!…Give Me… by Arthur Carey
Wanted: Committed, energetic spokesperson to publicize and promote unpopular, sanguinary lifestyle. Personal experience preferred
Got Cookies? by Gregg Chamberlain
Knock knock. Who's there? Special delivery for the Baron!
Nuts by T.R. Clark
Growing up in a trailer park may make one ask themselves, "If you play your life backwards, do you get your junk back?" Especially if you happen to be a dog.
Paleo Diet by J. Adrian Cook
The modern vampire has little idea of the origin of the food he buys in supermarkets. If you found a live human in your home, would you know what to do with it?
Monster Mashup by John H. Dromey
A late-night tour guide goes to bat for his customers. He tells them what to watch out for, upfront, when dealing with vampires. One in particular.
Blood Bank by Aaron Gudmunson
In our modern era of elevated convenience, even vampires partake of processed food. Hunting and gathering is for the bats.
The Vampire Who Wouldn’t Give Up by James E. Guin
Remember that boyfriend who you couldn’t get rid of? Try breaking up with a vampire?
The Hunter and the Hunted by Simon Kewin
A chase across the city. A hungering for blood. But who is the real monster?
Shouldn’t Have Asked By Nicholas Knight
Nigel thinks vampires suck. He also thinks dating sucks. And he thinks dating a vampire would really suck.
The Curse Of Van Helsing By Tracy S. Morris
All Van Helsing wants is to sell used cars in New Jersey. But there's no way she can let that happen. The price is too high.
A late-night tour guide goes to bat for his customers. He tells them what to watch out for, upfront, when dealing with vampires. One in particular.
Blood Bank by Aaron Gudmunson
In our modern era of elevated convenience, even vampires partake of processed food. Hunting and gathering is for the bats.
The Vampire Who Wouldn’t Give Up by James E. Guin
Remember that boyfriend who you couldn’t get rid of? Try breaking up with a vampire?
The Hunter and the Hunted by Simon Kewin
A chase across the city. A hungering for blood. But who is the real monster?
Shouldn’t Have Asked By Nicholas Knight
Nigel thinks vampires suck. He also thinks dating sucks. And he thinks dating a vampire would really suck.
The Curse Of Van Helsing By Tracy S. Morris
All Van Helsing wants is to sell used cars in New Jersey. But there's no way she can let that happen. The price is too high.
Bloodsuckers By M. Kelly Peach
Death and taxes, it is said, are the only sure things in this life. When you're a vampire, taxes are the only sure thing.
The Diner By Robert Morrisey
Becoming undead can be quite confusing for a new vampire; there is a lot to learn and no manual to download. Zeno wants to impress his new boss in the worst way. Question is, can he figure it out in time to save his own neck?
To Not-Be Or To Not Not-Be By Barry Rosenberg
Life can sometimes be such a pain. Especially if you're an undead and just dying to die.
A Secret To Die For By Giovanni Valentino
The worst kind of secret is one accidentally shared. There is no taking it back and no living with it out in the world.
Giovanni Valentino
About the Editor:
Giovanni Francesco Valentino has struggled at the art of writing for four decades against many demons like self-doubt, chronic depression, OCD and severe dyslexia. He has written a few memoir pieces about his life struggles going undiagnosed for more the half his life. He hopes one day to be a famous published science fiction and fantasy author.
He is a member of the CNY Writers Haven, a critique and writer support group. He is the editor of the upcoming humorous anthology, Alternate Hilarities.
Giveway:
1st prize: $10 Amazon Gift Card
2nd prize: 1 Print copy of Alternate Hilarities (vol 1)
3rd prize: 1 Print copy of Romantic Ruckus
4th prize: 3 eCopies of Alternate Hilarities (vol1)
5th prize: 3 eCopies of Romantic Ruckus
2 comments:
Thanks for the Promo.
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