Magic and Mayhem:
Wicked Is As Wicked
Does
(Kindle Worlds
Novella)
by Cherie Marks
Published October
19th 2016
Publisher: Timbercreek
Press
Genre: Romance,
Romantic Comedy
BLURB:
I
know exactly how to be a bad girl:
1.
Be born that way
2.
Have notorious parent
3.
Be real witch to everyone.
But,
I’ve got to be good now because in between teaching Chemistry at the local high
school in Assjacket, West Virgina, I have to save all humanity from the forces
of evil and…blah…blah…blah…keep the Halloweeneedtokissourassesgoodbye
apocalypse from happening. With the help of an off-the-charts, smoking hawt
instructor/boss, I might just have a fighting chance—if I can stop drooling
over his naked chest. Dane Calvin agreed to teach me how to use my abilities
responsibly, but he’s never met a witch as hard-headed as me. And, of course,
it doesn’t help that the last time I used my powers it ended in tragedy, so
forgive me if I’m a little magic gun-shy. I might be made for wicked things,
but when he’s watching, I’ve got to be good because Wicked Is
As Wicked Does.
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EXCERPT:
Like
the gorgeous best friend and amazing distraction I needed, Celia poked her head
into my classroom and gave me a smile that said she had juicy, juicy gossip
that I’d so want to know. School started in three days, and we were here prepping
our classrooms for another school year of blessing young minds and shaping the
future because we were professionals who’d chosen this job. Why? Clearly, we
were good, decent people who wanted to make a difference in the world. Or, we
were slightly insane and needed an outlet for our crazy.
“Is
your ass coming, or what?” As usual, Celia looked like the model for the Van
Halen song, Hot for Teacher. She was blonde, tan, and had legs that
were longer than a week of standardized testing. She was flat-out hawt, and
worked her physical blessings to get many, many dates. Or at least that’s what
she led us all to believe. I thought it was likely she just loved to talk a big
game, but we all let her maintain her bad-ass image. Seemed like the right
thing to do.
“Where
are we going?”
“To
meet the new principal.” Her chin dropped and she waggled her eyebrows a few
times before explaining, “I hear he’s hot, and I gots to see it for m’self.”
I
laughed a little as I said, “Celia, you’re always horny. He could look like a
puddle of melted ice cream and you’d slurp it up like the best thing you’ve
ever eaten.”
She
made a sucking sound and beckoned me to follow her. “Come on. Time’s a wastin’,
darling! How will we get the jump on fruity-tooty Mrs. Rudy? If she digs her hooks
into him, we’ll never have a shot.”
“She
can have him for all I care. I don’t have time for dating right now.”
“Who
said anything about dating? I was thinking I’d slam his body down, wind it all
around, and then we’d zigga-zig-ah.”
We
walked to the center of the building where the staff was hosting a reception in
the library. As we walked inside, I noticed people standing around with cake
and punch in hand. It just wasn’t a party until someone handed out a piece of
cake, right?
As
I glanced around, I saw a few familiar faces, but a number of new ones too.
This was only my second year teaching at Mount Shelley High School, where the
motto was, “Don’t be named Shelley.” Maybe it was really some crap about
reaching for heights, but I was thinking about starting a petition to change
it. For now though, I was still meeting everyone, and it didn’t help that
turnover was inevitable in a school, but especially in our school this year.
Turns
out, a new high school opened on the other side of town. For some strange
reason, Assjacket was having some kind of population boom, and it had called
for a new building to house the growing number of students. As a result, many
teachers and even the previous principal from MSHS made the jump to the new facility,
probably hoping to get the good office chairs and the student desks that didn’t
wobble and rock. Fancy!
That
meant one thing though for us—newbie staff—and all the hilarity that ensued. Of
course, technically I was still a newbie since this was only my second year
here. Sadly, I didn’t stay in one place too long, and as much as I loved the
friends I’d made here, I knew the time would come that I’d have to run again.
Until that day though, I’d enjoy belonging somewhere.
Celia
and I hit it off first day last year or else I’d have been one of her targets
for hazing. Instead, I got to be in on the jokes, and only had a few run-ins
with the Mounters, Celia’s crew of hardcore veterans who got just a little joy
in laughing at the inevitable moments of insanity brought on by the newness of
newbie teachers.
Don’t
get me wrong. They helped them more than they hurt them, but Celia showed me
how finding humor in the situation kept you from going batcrap crazy like the
rest of them.
Even
now, Celia had engaged a new, male teacher wearing a caught-in-the-headlights
look in his eyes into a conversation with her. He was clearly doing his best to
talk himself up, and it was almost unfair how easy he was going to make this.
“Evie,
have you met Mr. Feldman?”
“Um…it’s
Mr. Frederick.”
“Uh,
huh. He was just telling me that he’s going to be our new chemistry teacher.
Just hope they fixed the problem. I’d hate to lose another teacher in the same
way as the last one.”
Mr.
Frederick’s eyes widened, and I nearly ruined it all with a giggle I covered
with a swipe of my hand over my mouth.
“How
exactly did the last one leave?”
I
didn’t know how Celia kept such a straight face as she asked, “What do they
call those things? Oh, yes, I think it’s called a body bag.”
Sputters
and questions by Mr. Frederick were cut off as Celia raised her hand to wave at
someone across the room. “Look! There’s Liz. Let’s go ask how her summer was.”
As she stepped away, Celia called behind her, “Bye, Felicia.”
She
grabbed my arm and took off for the side of the room where Liz was talking to a
few other people, leaving poor Mr. Frederick to wonder what had happened to the
teacher for which he was taking the position and calling after us, “It’s
Frederick, but….”
“Celia,
you’re heartless.”
“Oh,
he’ll learn soon enough not to believe a word I say. It only took me explaining
that there was a hierarchy for copier use, and that you were at the very bottom
for you to see through my bullshit.”
The
memory of the first time I met Celia made me laugh. I thought she was a real
bitch. Of course, that only convinced me we’d be friends forever.
As
we crossed the room and closed in on Liz, I noticed a larger crowd gathered in
one part of the library. I tried to angle my head to catch a glimpse of our new
leader, but only caught sight of short, wavy, brown hair with natural bronze
highlights. He stood taller than the rest of the staff, but I still couldn’t
see a clear view of his face. Not that I cared. One principal was just like any
other. His or her job was to make the big decisions that guided the school.
There were always four major factions pushing the administrator toward certain
choices—students, teachers, parents, and the mighty ones in charge sending
their own decisions from above. Usually, one decision helped one particular
group but possibly hurt another. In other words, a principal didn’t stay
popular for long.
I
could’ve used my powers to separate the crowd. They wouldn’t even know what’d
happened, but I’d sworn not to use magic. It would draw too much attention, and
I was all about staying under the radar nowadays.
“Hey,
Liz. How was your summer vacay? Did you finally get laid?” Liz winced the
slightest bit at Celia’s blunt questions, but she no doubt expected such
boldness from our brash friend.
“As
a matter of fact…my summer was great but short. And I think you know the answer
to your second question.” She gave a twist of her mouth and rolled her hands
along her curvy hips. “I got a whole lot of…nothing.”
Though
she often alluded to the fact she was a tad rounder than most, she was such a
beautiful woman. Her cropped, blonde hair was always perfectly styled and her
make-up looked airbrushed and striking every day. As much as she joked about
wanting to be a walking stick, she was perfect the way she was, and we all knew
it.
Liz
changed the subject quickly by asking, “Have you seen the new principal? Beam
me up, McHawtie!”
Again,
my gaze strayed to the crowd, but I still couldn’t get a clear view of the
subject of our conversation. “Is he really that attractive?”
“Let’s
just say, I’m on my third pair of underwear, and I’ve only been here for
fifteen minutes.”
“Oooo!
Gross, Lizzy. TMI to the extreme.” I pushed my brain not to think about her
revelation, but once it was out there, it was impossible not to know.
“Hey!
I spit the truth. Handle it.”
“We
should go over there.” Celia was beginning a plot. I could feel it.
Liz
shrugged. “Looks pretty crowded right now. Maybe we should wait and catch him
when he’s not surrounded.”
In
a sudden motion, Celia grabbed my shoulder and squeezed. “Oh, no! Mrs. Rudy at
nine o’clock! We have to stop her now before she makes him her bitch.”
“Don’t
be ridiculous. There’s no stopping that train. She’s going to do what she’s
going to do.” I’d had my run-ins with Mrs. Rudy. She always got her way, and
people defied her at their own peril. Not only did she know the superintendent
personally, but she also regularly hung out with the school board members.
Needless to say, she got the computer lab whenever she wanted it.
“No!
We can’t let her this time. Evie, get in there and cause a distraction. I’ll
find a way to keep them apart.”
I
laughed because she clearly had lost her mind. Did she think she could keep
them apart all throughout the entire school year? I didn’t get her logic one
bit. “Celia, you’re asking for the impossible.”
But,
the next thing I knew, she was behind me, steering me toward the group, and I
was digging in my heels, fighting her every step of the way. We were making
unintelligible sounds to each other as I slapped at her hands on my shoulders,
and people were starting to stare. Somehow though, she maneuvered me into the
crowd, and with one last shove, pushed me straight into an immovable object,
like a brick wall or a Mack truck.
Yet,
when I looked up, I realized exactly what I’d hit. Him!
My
hands were on his chest, and though I knew I should pull away, one involuntary
squeeze of his warm, nicely-clothed body in my hands, and I went brainless. All
I knew was that I had an unobstructed view of him finally, and this was my
chance to see how handsome he was for myself.
I
started at his black, motorcycle boots and let my gaze travel up his
vintage-washed, indigo-detail jeans until I paused at the dark, blue button
down where his chest widened considerably into full, linebacker shoulders. My
anxiety built and rolled in my stomach as I started to lift my eyes to meet his
gaze. Not much actually scared me anymore, but looking him in the eyes was the
hardest thing I’d done for quite some time.
I
took it slow, pausing at his perfectly sculpted mouth and lingering on his
straight nose and sculpted cheeks. Oh, but, when I stared into the sparkle of
his green gaze, I felt my mouth go dry, my heart constrict, and my happy place
leap—actually leap—in response. I might’ve even let out a small squeak. I
suddenly understood Liz’s underwear comment completely. Might need a change
myself after this encounter.
“Are
you okay?” The deep timbre of his voice sent shivers down my spine. It was like
sweet, melted butter poured over the most delectable dish, and I wanted to hear
it over and over again.
“Fine.
And you?”
He
chuckled lightly and a corner of his mouth lifted, but then his face turned
grim again as he cleared his throat and set me back away from him, finally
breaking my grip on his shirt.
“Doing
my best to stay on my feet. Guess you’ll have to try harder next time…Ms. Ward,
is it?”
My
Review:
After witnessing the death of her mother at a very young
age Evie has been on the run and hiding out from the person who killed her. She
has been living in Assjacket, West Virgina teaching chemistry at the local high
school. Evie loves teaching and living in Assjacket with all the friends she
has made. Evie hasn’t had many friends in her short life as she was too afraid
of becoming close to other people and them finding out her secret.
You see Evie is a witch and she has not used her powers in
a very long time. She tries to fly under the radar when it comes to using her
powers hopefully no one can find her. If she uses her powers then they could be
traced and then she could be in danger.
But Evie is in luck there is a new guy that has moved
into town and he knows that Evie is a witch and has come to train Evie how to
use her powers becomes trouble is brewing. Evie must learn to use her powers so
that she can protect herself and other people like her not to mention the people
who live in Assjacket. The people who are responsible for her mother’s death are
on their way to Assjacket for Evie.
Evie has come to love her friends, her teaching job and
the little town of Assjacket and no one is going to take any of that away from
her if she can help it. She will fight tooth and nail to keep what she has
built in Assjacket, West Virgina.
Can Evie stop what is coming? Can she stop the people
that are out to destroy her and the people of Assjacket? Can she save her life
and everyone else’s’? To find out pick up your copy of Wicked Is As Wicked Does
today. Trust me you will not regret it.
Wicked Is As Wicked Does has been an amazing and
thrilling ride. It will take you on emotional roller coaster of a ride. I don’t
think I have laughed so hard in a long time and around my house we laugh a lot.
My husband keeps me in stitches all the time so if you can top that you are
doing good and let me tell you Cherie Marks did just that. I am stilling laughing
at certain passages in the book to this day. I don’t think I will forget it for
a long time to come and I do plan on borrowing some of the things she said and
using them when the opportunity arises.
I can’t wait to read me more about Evie, Dane, all the
other characters and Assjacket, West Virgina. Or at least I hope Cherie gives
us more of Evie and Assjacket’s little world. If you want to read a good book
this is not the first book Cherie has written so check some of her other work as well.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
It all started with an old fashioned typewriter. When my
family brought it home, I knew what I wanted to do. All those stories rolling
around in my head could finally get out. The press and click of the keys were
satisfying in their own right, but when I pulled out a finished page, I knew
this was for me. Since then, I’ve graduated to a laptop, but the stories still
find a way out.
I’m a breast cancer survivor, a teacher, a wife, a mother,
and from the very beginning—a storyteller. Always a hint humorous and honest to
a fault, I love to make people laugh, smile, and have “a-ha” moments. My goal
in life is to achieve tact and stop procrastinating. The battle wages on.
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