Memoir
I’d like to tell you a story. It’s a fairy tale of sorts…
At the age of twenty-seven, Caroline Rose was finishing her first year of medical school and in the best shape of her life when she was shockingly diagnosed with a highly aggressive, incurable, stage IV cancer.
At the age of one, Riley, a Great Dane/Labrador mix, was rescued from inhumane abuse. An Internet search of rescue dogs during Caroline’s first remission led her to a picture a large broken dog with empty eyes that resembled her own. One impulsive decision later, Riley became a Rose.
This is the story of two lost souls coming together as one and their journey together through family, love, loss, pain, and hope.
Dear Riley Rose radiates the humor of Riley’s antics during even the toughest of times and illustrates the courage it takes for every being to rise up and choose life in the face of adversity.
Love heals us. Hope carries us. But is that enough for us to believe in a happy ending?
My process and journey as a writer:
I used to never think of myself as a writer- or as a creative type in any way or form! I loved living in my science and math and logical left-brain. I found comfort in seeing a problem and finding solutions. The endless creative options overwhelmed and intimidated me. Until...
I met Paige. Paige was the first friend I met at the Brentwood Dog Park in Los Angeles, CA. After rescuing my soulmate dog, Riley Rose, I began taking Riley to the dog park every morning at 7am. Riley was still in the rehabilitation phase- recovering from the horrific abuse he had endured the first year of his life. Paige and I began our friendship over our shared love of animals and quickly deepened our bond. Paige lived only in the creative world space and began to show me the beauty that awaited me in the other half of my brain.
Through Paige's encouragement, I began to dabble in journaling. It never felt natural but I was always amazed at the words that flew out of my subconscious and onto the page. I wrote words at random. I wrote words in a sentence. I wrote words I didn't even know I held so deeply inside my soul.
One day, after an exceptionally difficult hospital stay, I came home and wrote a letter to the founder of the dog rescue who gave me Riley. I thanked her for saving Riley's life and for being the conduit that brought him to me. I thanked her for saving countless animal's lives and told her how much she had affected mine.
This letter had more of an impact than I could have ever dreamed. This letter became the first words written of my now published book, Dear Riley Rose.
I found that writing in letter form allowed me to write in a way that felt comfortable and exciting and healing. I began writing letters to Riley. Unbeknownst to me, those letters were the early chapters.
Throughout the entire process, I would send my writings to Paige and she would make notes and comments. Paige worked with me through the entire process. When I wanted to give up (because I did!), Paige encouraged me to keep writing. So, that's what I did. I just kept writing.
Dear Riley Rose is the product of newfound creativity, persistence, doubt, fear, excitement, and pride. The writing process healed me in more ways than one and, for that, I am eternally grateful.
Tell me about your book
I was in the best shape of my life. At twenty-seven years old, I’d just run my seventh marathon and was training to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Instead, I was diagnosed with a highly aggressive, incurable, stage IV cancer.
Riley was about a year old when, by sheer luck, he was rescued from inhumane abuse via a now-defunct pet store. A random Internet search of rescue dogs in Los Angeles during my first remission led me to a picture of a large broken dog with empty eyes that resembled my own. One impulsive decision later, rescue dog Riley had become a Rose. And I had become the other half of my soulmate’s heart .
DEAR RILEY ROSE is by turns light, funny, and gut-wrenching. Readers will feel my highs and lows as I marry the man of my dreams, get pregnant, lose babies, and endure a second and then a third cancer diagnosis—and yet through it all, I’m gifted with the constant love of a dog. Cancer patients, caregivers, and cancer survivors will relate to the strangling fear of a cancer diagnosis. Animal lovers will delight in the strong bond between animal and man and appreciate the power of healing that can only come from a beloved non-human companion. Riley’s endearing antics made him unforgettable and his unwavering devotion and unconditional love made him essential.
We all have moments where the question “Is life really worth living?” begs for an answer. We ache to know if the good outweighs the bad; if the joys are worth the pain. We all have our crosses to bear.
Any message for readers:
In November of 2004, I was in the very best shape of my life. A few months prior, I had finished my seventh marathon, and just one month earlier, I had completed my third triathlon. I was ready to start the most rigorous part of my training to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.
And then, my entire world was turned upside down.
Meanwhile… in a pet store in Beverly Hills, a dog named Riley was enduring unimaginable suffering. Unable to walk or, let alone stand, this Great-Dane/lab mix existed in a cage that was way too small for his large young body. Circular burns caused by the grooming drying hose used by an abusive after-hours employee marked Riley’s thinning yellow coat. Sadness filled this dog’s eyes. He knew no one wanted him or even looked at him. But most of all, no one believed in him.
Until, his world turned right-side up.
While getting blood work and vaccinations done for my upcoming trip to Africa, my abnormally low platelet count indicated something was very, very wrong. Twenty-four hours later, I was diagnosed with a highly aggressive, incurable, stage IV non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
I was twenty-seven years old.
Riley was in between his life at the pet store and being put down. Living in a small cage had caused his shoulders to form incorrectly. The only way to fix Riley was to agree to an extensive and expensive surgery-and no one wanted to take on that high-priced risk. Riley’s time was up. He’d been scheduled to be euthanized.
Riley was eleven-months old.
And then, while both facing our own death sentences, and against all odds - Riley and I found each other.
I still don’t know why on that chilly December morning I did a Google search for rescue dogs in Los Angeles. And I don’t know why I clicked on the link for Ace of Hearts. And I don’t know why I bypassed the first few pictures of the dogs listed under urgent. And I don’t know why I stopped when I saw Ri. And I’ll never know why, a few hours later, I brought that same battered and beaten rescue dog through our front door and into his forever home. And yet, I’ll always know that my irrational and spontaneous decision to adopt this dog that no one else wanted was the best decision I’ll ever make. Because that was the day that Riley became a Rose.
Riley Rose was with me through all three of my cancer battles. He rested his head on my tummy when I was pregnant with all of my babies. He protected and loved the two children that were born, and Ri was by my side as I mourned the three children we lost. Riley played with Ellie and Tommy when I was too sick to care for them myself. Ri kept my two children company while I was away in the hospital for months at a time. This dog sat through countless tea parties with Ellie and endured hours of Mickey's Clubhouse and the many manicures that included bright colors painted onto his paw nails. Riley gave my kids what I could not and, by doing that, Ri gave me the one thing I needed the most - comfort and assurance that they would be alright- that we would be alright- that I would be alright.
And, before everything became alright, Ri gave me the space to be whoever I needed to be. I never had to pretend to be okay for Ri like I did for the humans around me. With Riley, I was safe. He was pure unflinching devotion. This dog never asked me for anything. He only wanted my love. And, in return, Ri gave me his heart. And, as it turned out, that was the love that healed my broken spirit. And it was that same love that healed Riley as well.
DEAR RILEY ROSE is a profoundly honest memoir that is anchored in the ultimate message of hope. Each chapter is a separate letter written to Riley Rose. I never wanted to write a book centered around my battle with my cancer, so it wasn’t until I realized this story’s magic lies within the journey Riley and I took together that I understood the real purpose and meaning this book was meant to hold. DEAR RILEY ROSE takes the reader along the path I took through my cancer. This book highlights the ups and downs of motherhood and trying to parent through struggle. Experiences such as in-vitro, losing children, and coping with my cancer-induced guilt I felt towards my children are depicted. DEAR RILEY ROSE radiates the humor of Ri and his antics, and it illustrates the courage it takes for every being to rise up and choose life in the face of adversity.
Riley Rose was my soul mate dog. He healed me, and I healed him. We couldn’t have made it through our most difficult times without the love we had for one another- of that, I am certain. Because no matter how strong the human love is that we have to surround us, it’s that love of an animal that fills in the cracks and fills our hearts with that unconditional, unquestionable, loyal love. And that’s the love that heals.
Love heals. Animals heal. And, even when we don’t think it is possible, humans heal.
Even if the healing is just over one of the many wounds we carry, that’s something. Even if the love is only enough to fill a part of a heart, that’s significant. And even if the hope is only held onto with a light, untrusting grip, that’s enough. A rescue dog can do that for any one of us, or if we can do it for any one of them, that’s everything.
The journey Riley and I took together was bigger than the two of us. I feel this book and its message just might be as well - especially in today's world, this is a story we all need to hear.
Everyone can relate to a tale of struggle and the soul-searching that comes with hitting rock-bottom. Regardless of one’s background or life circumstances, pain comes for each one of us – in the form of physical, emotional and/or spiritual challenges. No human can love without loss. No human can rise without falling. This is my story of being setback, and it can be anyone’s story – because hardship, whether it is cancer or any other adversity, does not discriminate. And neither does the power of love. I don’t believe in fairy-tale endings, but I do subscribe to the idea that we can always be given a second chance—because it was in our second chance that Riley and I created our life together and taught each other that some things are worth the fight.
See, thanks to my cancer, I now know the struggle is what makes life worth living. That’s where we find the treasure. In the depth of my sorrow, I found goodness. In the darkness of my suffering, I found love. And in finding Riley, I found hope.
Animals heal us. Hope carries us. And love saves us.
That’s what this story is all about: healing and hoping and loving.
About the Author
Caroline Rose, a nationally recognized author, public speaker, and motivational storyteller, delivers compelling stories from her three separate battles with her highly aggressive, incurable stage IV cancer. After being diagnosed when she was 27 years old and undergoing two different bone marrow transplants, it was ultimately a groundbreaking clinical trial and the donation of her older brother’s marrow that saved her life. Caroline understands the universal struggles of trying to live life to the fullest, even in the face of fear and uncertainty, and is passionate about helping people recognize the beauty of life, even in the darkest moments.
Caroline’s compelling story has been featured by organizations such as MD Anderson Cancer Center, Livestrong, City of Hope National Medical Center, and Health Magazine. The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society chose Caroline to be a candidate for their Woman of the Year campaign, and the National Cancer Survivors Day committee highlighted Caroline and her story as a featured speaker for this year’s speaker selection. Caroline is a frequent podcast guest on top rated podcast and travels the country, speaking to approximately 10,000 to 15,000 people annually. In 2018, Caroline was honored to be chosen as the speaker for the City of Hope Music, Film, and Entertainment Industry Spirit of Life Awards in Santa Monica, California.
Today, Caroline is embracing her thirteenth year of living cancer-free. She lives in San Antonio, Texas, and enjoys life as a wife and a mom to her two teenage children and two four-legged fur babies. Caroline is an avid dog lover and a deep believer in the healing power of animals. She is very excited about her soon-to-be-released memoir, Dear Riley Rose, the story of a woman and her dog…and how they saved each other.
In her free time, Caroline volunteers for organizations such as her local dog rescue, the MD Anderson Patient Advisory Board, the Be the Match Foundation, the National Charity League, and the Battle of Flowers Organization, and she fills several parent volunteer positions at her children’s school. Caroline also spends time in Austin and is involved with the Health Alliance for Austin Musicians and the local Austin-based medical device company, Wenzel Spine, which was founded by her life-saving brother, Chad Neely.
Caroline’s strong message of hope, even in the face of profound struggle, resonates universally, especially today. The world is craving hope, and Caroline is happy to be the one to provide it.
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