CHAPTER ONE
No
Retreat
Courtney had one foot out of the car
door, with her body still firmly planted
inside.
Her throat tightened as the campus loomed before her. A dusting of snow
graced
the trees and roofs. Though she’d attended St. Augustus for ninth grade
and
half of the tenth already, it didn’t feel like home.
The
school’s buildings were set well back from the road and Courtney
stared
at them now. The whole scene felt out of place in Massachusetts. She’d
always
thought the oldest building on campus could be a castle like you’d find
in
France or England. At one time, its coating of green ivy had fascinated
Courtney,
like it was being gobbled up by the vines. As the semesters had
passed
though, the plain red brick of the newer buildings seemed more in tune
with
the personality of the school she’d come to know.
Courtney
sighed as she watched her dad walk away from the parking lot
toward
the dorm with her older sister Hanna. Winter break had ended too soon.
“I’ll
wash your car every night if you reconsider?” she called out.
As
if he hadn’t heard her, her dad pulled the lapel of his suit jacket up
over
his face against the cold and continued walking toward the dorm. He didn’t
turn
back. She wracked her brain for something else to offer, but came up with
nothing.
After
a long pause, Courtney hoisted her duffel bag from the car seat
beside
her up onto her shoulder. She pulled her long, bushy red hair out from
under
its strap. She could just stay in the car. Once her dad got Hanna settled in
her
room and returned to the parking lot, the two of them could go. Home.
Courtney
pictured his face turning a deep shade of red if she tried that. It wasn’t
going
to be that simple. She’d argued her case all last semester, the entire winter
break,
then the whole car ride up here from Boston today. He hadn’t given an
inch.
Finally,
she pulled herself off the leather seat of the car and stepped out
into
the staff parking lot where they weren’t supposed to park. Jim Wallis
regularly ignored No Parking signs. Besides,
he wasn’t planning to stay long.
Courtney
shut the car door with a satisfying slam.
Her
dad and Hanna disappeared into the dorm entrance - Hanna’s head
bent
over her phone as she walked. She was no doubt texting her friends, telling
them
she’d arrived, even though she’d see them as soon as she got inside.
Courtney
walked fast as she crossed the lawn, her bag swinging against her
back
with every step. She’d have to hurry if she wanted to get in one more shot.
She
knew she’d lost this round, but maybe he’d give in by the summer if she
had
a convincing argument now. Taking the steps to the dorm entrance two at a
time,
she ran through all the possibilities.
Her
dad waited in front of one of the plain doors in the hallway, his
eyebrows
knit into a frown.
“I’ve
got to be getting back to the city, Courtney,” he said as she
approached.
He took her bag from her.
“I
can pack everything I have here really fast, Dad,” Courtney joked as
she
fished her key out of her pocket and fit it into the lock. She’d done enough
whining.
Time to take a different angle.
“Courtney,
you have to at least try to make it work here,” her dad said
firmly,
following her into the small room she shared with her roommate,
Margaret.
“You
were happy enough to come here last year. You’ll like it again, just
give
it time.”
The
room smelled musty, as it always did when it had been shut up for a
while.
Memories of the first time she’d come to campus flooded in. Back then,
she’d
been full of hope.
She
took her bag back from him and tossed it onto her unmade bed.
Courtney
cocked her head as it hit the blankets. Had her bed sat here like that
the
whole time she’d been gone, its sheets tangled up and exposed? Her face
scrunched
up as she looked over at Margaret’s tidy covers, knowing the sheets
underneath
would be tucked into the mattress with hospital corners. She felt her
dad’s eyes on her. Turning toward the window,
she took stock of her prison.
Two
and a half years left to serve, with no time off for good behavior.
Courtney
held her mouth in a thin line. The Courtney her dad referred to
had
been a bright-eyed freshman. She’d been thrilled then to come to St.
Augustus.
It had turned out to be less exciting than she’d hoped.
Somewhere
about an hour ago in the car, she’d thought he might agree to
let
her go home with him. But now, here they were.
“I
know you loved it here, Dad,” she said, turning and watching him
carefully
for any signs of weakness. “But I’d be the top runner at Harbor,
including
the seniors.”
Harbor
Heights was the Boston school she’d trained with over the break.
She
was faster than all of them.
Besides,
being home was easier – more comfortable. She especially liked
seeing
her mom every day. Her mother had a busy social calendar, but still... she
was
home for meals and coffee in the morning. Once Courtney was back at
school,
she wouldn’t get to talk to her mom much. Her mom didn’t like to talk
on
the phone, and Courtney’s dad handled anything to do with the school. Both
of
her parents were too busy to talk to her during the school year about much
else.
The
thought of leaving St. Augustus’ starchy kilts and blouses behind
made
her heart sing.
Her
dad shook his head. The corners of his mouth turned downward as he
looked
at his youngest daughter. If she didn’t know better, she thought he might
be
about to cry. She hated to disappoint him.
“Courtney,
St. Augustus can give you everything you want,” he told her.
“Swimming
will look just as good on college applications as running. It doesn’t
matter
much. If you swam as much as you ran, you’d probably get better.” He
looked
at her with that expression he got sometimes. What was that expression?
Courtney
had never been able to figure it out. Dreamy, somehow – yet,
disappointed.
“You just aren’t looking hard enough for what is here.”
Courtney
bit her lip to keep from raging at her dad. He was so out of
touch.
Her hands clenched at her sides. She’d heard this speech before and it
didn’t
make any more sense to her now than it had the first time she’d heard it.
St.
Augustus was a school. Her dad talked about it like the buildings could live
and
breathe. He actually sounded pretty crazy once he got going. Courtney
looked
over at Margaret’s empty bed, glad she wasn’t here to hear him go off.
“Dad,”
Courtney said, taking a breath before plunging ahead, “it’s not about
the
school. There’s no track team here! I have been trying at swimming, I
thought
I’d get better…” Words spilled out, though they weren’t telling the
whole
truth. Her heart hadn’t been in swimming at all this year. She could do
better.
“Hanna’s
going to have her pick of colleges,” he reminded her. “You
need
to start thinking about that, too. With some work, you’ll get there.”
“Dad,
my grades are good. I’ll get into a good college,” Courtney said.
“Even
if I’m at a public school.”
She
tried not to think too hard about Hanna graduating this year. The
thought
of being the only Wallis at St. Augustus was unnerving. Her dad’s
expectations
would fall to her. She didn’t mind living in Hanna’s shadow, not
really.
It was better than being forced into the spotlight.
He
didn’t answer. For a few beats, their deadlocked argument hung in the
air
between them.
The
room itself, with Margaret’s bed only three feet from her own,
seemed
smaller than she remembered. Reality set in. She’d be staying. From her
dad’s
tone, she’d be here not just this year, but until graduation. Her collarbone
itched
as she caught sight of the row of neatly pressed uniforms hanging in the
open
closet.
“You’re
just going to have to trust me on this one,” he told her, breaking
the
silence as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
Courtney
eyed him warily. His eyes were lit in a way that seemed out of
place.
“St. Augustus is… special,” he said, clearing
his throat. “Courtney, there
is
no telling what you could accomplish, if only you’d open your eyes and go
for
what you want.”
Courtney
hated being mediocre, though not enough to want to train harder
at
something she didn’t much like. Unwelcome hot tears waited like needles
behind
her eyelids. She dug her fingernails into her palms. Crying wouldn’t
work
with Jim Wallis. She couldn’t cry.
“Dad,
I am going for
what I want,” Courtney answered, wrinkling her
forehead.
“What do you think I’ve been asking you for?”
“No,
you don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head.
She
followed her dad’s gaze out the window. Why was he looking out of
the
window? This conversation was important.
“Courtney,”
he said, “pay attention. The West Woods are the key.”
Courtney
looked at her dad now, whose wistful gaze seemed almost
comical.
He
really said some crazy things sometimes. The woods were the key to
what?
What did that even mean?
“Dad,
what are you talking about?” She asked, shortly. Her dad was a
senator,
and looking at him now, all Courtney could think was, it was a good
thing
his voters never saw him like this. He sounded positively flaky. “We’re
not
even allowed in the woods.”
“Ah,
but did you ever wonder why?” he asked, suggestively. A smile
played
at his lips.
Courtney
could only stare at her dad. She’d never ventured into the West
Woods,
though she’d run past them plenty of times. The thought of ever going
in
gave her the creeps, what with all the unruly branches. Especially in the
winter
time, when the trees were bare. Was there something more? If there was
something
he wanted her to know, he could just tell her.
“Dad, the West Woods can’t make a track team
appear,” she said.
“You
might be surprised…” he said, trailing off.
His
smile had grown wider.
Why
was he smiling? This conversation had gone seriously off the rails.
She
wasn’t getting anywhere. Her dad was making less and less sense.
“I’ve
maybe said too much already,” he said to her, stepping back from
the
window. “But I’ll make you a deal. You make an effort to find out what
makes
St. Augustus special. Do everything you can here to pad your college
applications.
At the end of the year, if you’ve done these things and you still
want
to leave, I’ll consider it.”
Courtney’s
heart leapt as she took in his wide eyes. He seemed sincere.
She
breathed deeply. There was a chance she wouldn’t have to come back next
year.
She’d never actually thought he’d agree to let her leave mid-year anyway.
This
was about all she could have asked for.
“Uh,
thanks, Dad,” Courtney said quietly. She resisted the urge to look
away
from his intense gaze, nodding her head in agreement. She’d try anything
to
get home.
“Good,”
he said, moving toward the door. He had a small smile on his
face,
all that was left of his recent excitement. He stopped at the door and
opened
his arms to embrace Courtney.
“I
have no doubt you’ll find it when you’re ready,” he told her, giving her
a
rare fatherly squeeze.
Courtney
sank down onto her messy bed after the door clicked shut
behind
him, her mind going in circles. There had to be a way to make this work.
If
she did what he asked, he’d honor it, she knew that much about his character.
But
what did he expect her to find, and what would he accept as proof?
There
had always been rumors about the school – its founder, Isaac
Young,
and his supposed curse or magic, the legend of the ‘lucky’ room… she
closed
her eyes, trying to remember what the stories were about. She’d never
been
that interested. What was it about the lucky room that was supposed to be
special
again?
Courtney
shook her head. Those were just silly stories. He’d surely been
talking
about something else - something to do with the West Woods. She
hadn’t
heard any stories about the woods.
She
curled her feet up under her and lay down to nestle into her pillow. A
calm
feeling spread through her as she imagined herself at home in her own bed.
As
much as she liked Margaret, it had been nice to have her own room again
over
the break.
Her dad had gone to St. Augustus a long time
ago. He wanted Courtney to
find
something – something that had been here, then. What if it was gone?
Whatever
her dad thought was special about the school, if it was still here,
she
had time to find it. Another year and a half, to be exact. A groan escaped
from
her throat as she buried her face in the pillow. The woods
are the key, he’d
said.
Had the woods been off limits all those years ago when he’d been at
school?
The
wheels in Courtney’s mind turned, searching for a starting point.
Hanna
had been here longer. She seemed to love the school almost the same
way
their dad did… Did she know what Dad was talking about? Maybe he’d
told
her. Maybe he’d given her a clue what to look for.
Their
dad had been a lawyer before he’d become a senator. He would
expect
proof.
What
could she possibly use to persuade him she’d given this her all? If
she
could get him to see she’d unlocked whatever secrets he expected of her, he
might
let her leave. She had to be logical about this.
Suddenly
not feeling tired anymore, she pushed herself up to a sitting
position
on the bed. She grabbed a notebook and a pen from her nightstand and
pulled
them toward her. Her goals should be bold enough to satisfy him - she’d
have
to pick things that felt beyond her reach.
Hands
shaking, Courtney opened the notebook. She set her pen to the
page
and made a list in her messy scrawl.
Get
Home List
1.Master
the secrets of St. Augustus – know more than Dad.
2.Win
at swimming.
3.Make
team captain.
Courtney
surprised herself that two of her three items were about
swimming.
Her dad had seemed focused on her making that work. If Courtney
could
show she’d accomplished what he wanted her to at St. Augustus, he
couldn’t
argue she hadn’t tried.
Team
captain was usually reserved for a senior. But waiting for senior
year
was too long - she wouldn’t have any time left to do track at Harbor. Surely
it
was possible to get it in her junior year. She made a mental list of the
juniors
on
the team now – four girls. She ran through each one in her mind. There
wasn’t
an obvious leader among them. It could happen. Courtney stared at the
team
captain goal she’d written down. If she did well enough at the swimming
itself,
maybe her dad would let her leave without becoming team captain.
She raised her pen to strike out the third
goal, then hesitated. It was only a list. Nobody would ever see it, it was just
something to shoot for. She didn’t
have
to do it all. Instead of striking it out, Courtney doodled in the margin,
letting
her mind wander. She looked up at the door when she heard the jangle of
a
key being fit into the door’s lock.
“You
came back!” Margaret said with a laugh, swinging the door open
and
stepping inside.
“For
now,” Courtney conceded, closing her notebook and setting it on the
nightstand,
“but I have a plan.”
“Of
course you have a plan!” Margaret said, tossing her small suitcase on
her
bed and sitting down beside it. “You always have a plan,” she teased. The
perfect
finish of Margaret’s covers barely rippled where she sat, they were
pulled
so tight. “Happy New Year! Was your Christmas awesome?”
“Yeah,”
Courtney answered, “it was great to get away from here.”
“You’re
so weird,” Margaret said. “I’m soooo glad to be back!
Everyone’s
down at the student lounge right now, let’s go say hi. Is that a new
hoodie?”
“It’s
from Harbor Heights,” Courtney answered.
“Oooo!
Did you meet someone?” Margaret asked, her eyes trained on
Courtney.
“No,
nothing like that,” Courtney answered quickly. She looked over at
the
notebook on her nightstand. She wasn’t going to accomplish everything
overnight.
Maybe hanging out with the girls tonight would help her formulate a
plan.
“Are
you coming?” Margaret asked, her hand hovering on the doorknob.
“Sure,
let’s go,” Courtney answered.
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