“Will
you marry me?”
They
were the words I’d wanted to hear my entire life. Didn’t every
girl fantasize over the perfect man buying the perfect ring and
getting down on one knee in the most romantic way possible, before telling them
they loved them so much they wanted to spend the rest of their life with them?
I
knew I certainly had.
Me
and my best friend Cici used to talk about it all the time. We used to plan our
dresses, the music, the flowers—every part of the ceremony down to the very
last detail. Of course, the man didn’t really matter. We were young enough
and naïve enough to believe we would magically meet the perfect man
without even trying.
And
I really thought I had. I really, truly believed my dream had come true.
Me
and Danny had begun our love story in a very typical fashion—our eyes had met
across a bar, where we’d had long, lingering eye contact, sparking all kinds of
emotions within me. The only difference between my story, and that of every
other rom-com ever, was that Danny was a genuine up-and-coming rock star,
playing on a fairly big stage, and I was a fan who already felt a lot of love
for this man. I’d been admiring him from afar ever since I first heard their
album a year or so before.
I
certainly hadn’t expected it to ever go any further than that moment, so when
he came and joined me at the bar later on for a drink, despite being mobbed by
other members of the audience, I felt like my entire life had been leading me
up to that moment. I felt like everything I’d experienced had
drawn me closer to Danny, the love of my life. Here was a gorgeous man who
was destined to be famous, and who could have any girl in the world hanging off
of his arm, talking to me, asking?me?questions, and actually showing me
interest.
It
seemed like a dream—one I was terrified to wake up from.
As
he flicked his wavy auburn hair from his warm, chocolaty
eyes, and he gave me that smile that had already melted the hearts of the
nation, I thought for a dreaded, wonderful second that he was going to kiss me
in front of all of those people. But after a few beats of pure terror, he
didn’t. Instead he handed me his phone number, and he asked if I would like to
go on a date with him.
Me—boring
old Charlotte aka Lottie Jones—on a date with
Danny Boreom, drummer of the now?very famous band Jax. It
didn’t seem real.
Yet,
it was real, and it?did?happen.
It
was the start of my real life.
After
a night out on the town where he well and truly wined and dined me, he walked
me home to my tiny flat, which must have looked ridiculous compared to the
mansion I now know he lived in with the rest of the band at the time, and he
finally kissed me. As his lips met mine, I felt myself flying on top of the
world—he was an amazing kisser, and there seemed to be an endless chemistry
between us. One I never wanted to end.
Breathless
and turned on by the power of his mouth, I invited him inside. Although he
coolly and calmly turned me down, it was still the best night of my entire
life, made even better by a phone call the next day to say that he only didn’t
come inside with me because he wanted to be something real. He didn’t want our
love to end with a one-night stand, he actually wanted us to
develop, and for him to become my boyfriend.
Fast
forward three and a half years and we were blissfully living together, grazing
by every day happily and easily. Although he was away for a lot of the year
touring, it didn’t seem to bother us. We were so strong and so solid with what
we had, nothing would get in our way.
It
was perfect, still a dream come true, and that intense chemistry hadn’t
burned down one bit.
Which
made it even weirder that my reaction to Cici telling me that Baz—another
member of the band—had just told her that he’d been engagement ring shopping
with Danny, wasn’t one of pure joy.
“What…what
do you mean?” I asked, my heart racing frantically in my chest. I could
tell that my voice was breathless and kind of terrified, but my mind was
spinning too fast for me to be able to do anything about it.
“Aren’t
you happy?” She giggled. “I thought you’d be over the moon to finally
be Mrs. Boreom.”
“No,
no, I am,” I half lied. The idea had always been at the edge of my
thoughts. I knew Danny was the one for me, and despite all the car crash
relationships around us, we’d even managed to survive the fallout of him
becoming mega famous. It helped that I had no interest in the spotlight and I
did everything I could to avoid it, but even despite all of that, I felt like
it proved we could go the distance, and be together forever. So why wasn’t I
excited for us to take the next step? “It’s just a bit of a shock, that’s
all.”
But
that was normal, right? Everyone freaked out at first when they learned they
were going to become someone’s wife…didn’t they?
Of
course, I already knew that wasn’t true. I’d already been proposed to once in
my life before, and that time, I didn’t hesitate one bit. Panic didn’t even
come into the equation, I was happy, over the moon at the thought of becoming
his wife.?This?was nothing like that had been. I felt completely
different.
For
the first time in a very long time, I allowed myself to think about Joe again,
and almost the second I allowed that vault to open in my mind, I felt myself
fall into a tailspin. As his face filled my brain once more, it was almost as
if the last five years hadn’t happened at all, and I was still his proud
girlfriend, waiting to be his wife.
As
the wound reopened, I could barely hear what Cici was saying. I felt like I was
gaping, exposed, and extremely vulnerable all over again, and I did what I’d
always done when I was younger when things got too difficult for me. I started
to talk to Joe in my mind.
Where
are you now? What became of you? What happened to your life?
It
was so strange to have gone from the closest people in the world, to absolutely
nothing, and I struggled to imagine that he’d changed one bit. Of course I had,
my life was completely different, but I couldn’t think of Joe without viewing
him as the other half of me. The boy that I’d adored, and the one I never
thought would leave my side.
“I…I’ve
got to go,” I finally announced to my friend. “I’ll speak to you
later, okay?” And then I hung up the phone, without even waiting for her
to answer. I knew I was being rude, acting more than a little strange, but I
needed some time. I needed to be alone with my thoughts to try and process all
of this.
So
how I found myself sitting at my computer with my fingers running along the
keys, I wasn’t quite sure.
Don’t
press anything, I willed myself.?As soon as you do, everything will
change.
Since
we had gone our separate ways, I hadn’t contacted Joe once, and with the rising
of social media, I hadn’t looked him up either. I just couldn’t face it.
He was like an imaginary fantasy in my mind now, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to
ruin that with reality. What if he was married now? Or into drugs or something?
His life could have gone in any direction, and I wasn’t sure I really wanted to
find out which one.
Plus,
my life really was amazing now. Why would I want to even consider risking that?
I had a gorgeous, passionate man who actually wanted to be with me forever,
even though he was about ten leagues above me. I had a teaching job I
loved, and friends that would do anything for me. That was a hell of a lot more
than most people had!
In
the end I forced myself to stand up and to move away from the computer screen
before it lured me in. I couldn’t do it; I just wasn’t willing to take that
step into the unknown. It terrified me far too much. But as I wandered
aimlessly from room to room, I realised I couldn’t just do?nothing,?either. I
needed to calm this beast within me, which meant delving into my past whether I
liked it or not.
I
stood at the bottom of the attic ladder, wondering what awaited me up there.
When me and Danny decided to buy a place together—well, he put the most money
in, of course, but we still classed it as ‘ours’—I shoved everything
related to my old life away, not wanting to even consider it. But it was always
a comfort, knowing it was there, knowing I could access it at any moment if I
really wanted to.
And
I could feel myself finally taking that step.
I
creaked up the ladder, feeling my heart thump and my palms sweat with nerves.
This was a mistake, I knew it was, but at the same time I couldn’t stop.
There
would be no way for me to get married without taking this step anyway. Right
now, things were comfortable, but if I was?ever?going to have a future with
Danny, I needed to confront my past first. At least, that was my
excuse and I was sticking to it.
Danny
knew about Joe anyway. Well, he’d been told some of it, the very basics, so I
supposed I was probably going to have to confess all before we finally took the
plunge. With that thought in mind, I tore open the first box I stumbled across,
and I ended up looking at the few photographs I had of me and Joe when we were
very young, when we first met…
My Review:
Lottie Loves tells the story of a younman who has lived through heartbreak for the second time in her life when she gets this strange call from her boyfriend Danny who is on the road with his band, Jax. Danny tells her that he didn't do it, that none of it is true. Lottie has no clue as to what he is taking about but when she picks up the newspaper and sees Danny having a good time with some woman and then a picture of her leaving his room. Well as they say a picture doesn't lie, right?
Lottie is all heartbroken over Danny's news that she can't think straight. Her mind takes her back to the past to the only person she thought she would ever love and that they would be together forever. Her best friend since they were babies. He became her boyfriend during their teenage years and Lottie started seeing Joe in a different way. They were going to get married and spend the rest of their lives together but then tragedy strikes close to home and everything comes crashing down around them. The next she knows Joe breaks up with her and takes his passport and leaves town.
With seeing the pictures of Danny in the paper it brings up memories that Lottie thought she had put to rest a long time ago but maybe not. She starts to dwelling on it all and wondering about the "what ifs". She starts to wonder if she and Joe were meant to be like she always dreamed of. Was she making a mistake with Danny? What does she truly want? Maybe the only way to find out is to take a walk into the past to meet with Joe to see what happened and where to go with in future.
Lottie had to go through the things she did, experience every heartache, every joy, and meet the people she did in order to become the person she is now in order to love the people she loves now. If she hadn't experienced all those things then she would be a different person and her life would be so totally different than what it is. I am trying to say is that I tell my husband that we had to experience the things we did and meet the people we did to be the people we are today. If we hadn't experienced any of those things we would not be the people we are then we may not have liked each other and never have fallen in love.
Lottie Loves is not the first book by Samie Sands that I have read and I hope it won't be the last. I have honestly loved everything by her that I have read and Lottie Loves was no different. Lottie Loves is a very short book that will keep you flipping the pages wanting to know more about Lottie and Joe, Lottie and Danny.
I would recommend Lottie Loves to anyone who loves a good love story or heartbreak whichever way you want to look at it but fair warning you may need a box of tissue.
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Giveaway:
$10 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC
Follow the tour and comment; the more you comment, the better
your chances of winning.
6 comments:
Thank you so much for the post and the review! I'm soooo happy you loved the book!!! Samie x
I enjoyed reading about your book; congrats on the tour and thanks for the chance to win :)
Thanks for sharing your review!
This looks like an interesting read. Thanks for the giveaway. I hope that I win. Bernie Wallace BWallace1980(at)hotmail(d0t)com
A great review thank you.
Sounds Really Awesome.
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