Two Like Me and You
Chad Alan Gibbs
Publication date: May 20th 2019
Genres: Contemporary, Young Adult
Edwin Green’s ex-girlfriend is famous. We’re talking cover-of-every-tabloid-in-the-grocery-store-line famous. She dumped Edwin one year ago on what he refers to as Black Saturday, and in hopes of winning her back, he’s spent the last twelve months trying to become famous himself. It hasn’t gone well.
But when a history class assignment pairs Edwin with Parker Haddaway, the mysterious new girl at school, she introduces him to Garland Lenox, a nursing-home-bound World War II veteran who will change Edwin’s life forever.
The three escape to France, in search of the old man’s long-lost love, and as word of their adventure spreads, they become media darlings. But when things fall apart, they also become the focus of French authorities. In a race against time, who will find love, and who will only find more heartache?
Excerpt:
“Are you guys talking about Parker Haddaway?”
Our conversation had
drawn the attention of a passing gaggle of senior girls all wearing the same
teal running shorts and last year’s prom T-shirt, “Enchanment Under the See.”
Yes, the senior class misspelled half the words on their prom T-shirts, and yes,
the senior class was full of morons.
“Yeah,” Fitz said,
before I could say no. “Green has to interview old people with her for history
class.”
“I heard she’s a lesbian,” the tallest of the
three girls said between smacks of gum.
I gave Fitz a knowing look and he asked the
girl, “And whom did you hear that from?”
“Buzz Booker,” the girl said, and Fitz
returned my look.
“Don’t you think it’s
possible someone might not want to date Buzz Booker?” Fitz asked, but the girls
all shook their heads no.
“Maybe she’s asexual,” the shortest girl
said.
“Yeah, like a fern,” the middle girl agreed.
“Are y’all talking about Parker Haddaway?”
Now a couple of sophomore guys had stopped to
join the conversation.
“Yeah,” the shortest
girl said, “She and Edwin have to interview old people about lesbians for
history class.”
“That’s not exactly—”
“I don’t think she’s
a lesbian,” one of the guys said. “We live down the street from her and her
aunt. My mom said they’re Jewish, and Jews can’t date outside their religion
because of the Holocaust and all.”
“What is Buzz Booker?” the shortest girl
asked.
“Sith,” Fitz said, but only I laughed.
“You’re thinking of
Muslims,” the other guy said. “Jews can date whoever they want because odds are
that person was Jewish in a past life.”
“You’re thinking of Hindus,” I said.
“But she doesn’t have one of those dots on
her forehead,” the tallest girl said.
“I’m not saying Parker is Hindu. Hindus
believe in—never mind.”
“She’s a cop.” Jeff
Parker, our school’s most notorious pothead had stopped to join the
conversation.
“She’s not a cop,” Fitz said.
“Like you’d know,
gay-dad,” Jeff said, then flinched and backed away when Fitz halfheartedly
karate chopped in his direction. Shaken, Jeff the stoner continued, “These cops
try and pass themselves off as students but they’re easy to spot. She says
she’s seventeen, but that girl is twenty-two, at least.”
“Makes sense,” the
tallest girl said. “I heard she hooks up with that Todd dude who sells iPhone
cases in the mall, and he’s like twenty-nine. If she were really seventeen
they’d arrest him.”
“I thought she was a lesbian,” I said.
“And lesbians don’t want free iPhone cases?”
the middle girl shot back.
“Exactly,” Jeff said.
“And why do you think she misses so much school and never gets in trouble? It’s
because she’s in meetings down at the precinct.”
“So has she tried to buy drugs from you?” I
asked.
“I don’t sell drugs,”
Jeff said with a scowl, then conceded, “but no, she hasn’t. I tried to talk to
her once in the hall and she stared at me until I walked away.”
“Me too,” the shortest girl said.
Then they all stood
there silent for a moment, having exhausted J. P. Hornby’s second favorite
topic of gossip, before turning to their favorite.
“So Edwin,” the tallest girl finally said,
“have you talked to Sadie lately?”
Everyone turned their
attention to me, and I was about to tell them to go play in traffic, but Coach
Cowden bellowed from his office window, “This isn’t social hour, ladies, get
moving!”
“Come on,” I said to
Fitz, and we resumed our slow orbit around the track, leaving the rest of them
to discuss me and the dating practices of reincarnated Jewish lesbian narcs.
Author Bio:
Chad Alan Gibbs lives in Alabama with his wife, two sons, two dogs, and an embarrassingly large collection of Star Wars action figures. Two Like Me and You is his first novel.
1 comments:
Thanks for being on the tour! :)
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