Essays & Collections, Parenting Humor, Women's Non-fiction
Date Published: 09-24-2024
Judy Haveson always believed she would one day “have it all.” Then she turned forty and wondered if she had waited too long. After countless failed first dates and fewer second ones, she finally found love, got married, and became a mother at forty-three.
Oldest Mom on the Playground is a collection of relatable, heartwarming, and humorous essays. Written in her signature conversational style and with a touch of sarcasm, Judy takes readers on her journey of getting pregnant after forty (and delivering the baby during a full moon), raising a child in New York City (including the time she lost him in a grocery store and found him standing on Broadway), leaving the career she spent decades building to volunteer as a preschool class rep, to becoming a card-carrying member of the sandwich generation.
Judy offers no parenting advice, only personal reflection. And she takes nothing in her life for granted. Her message to other midlife mamas is this: trust your gut, let your life experience guide you, and pray no one ever mistakes you for the grandmother.
Interview with Judy Haveson
Does writing energize or exhaust you?
Writing energizes me, especially when I have a passionate idea to share. However, coming up with new ideas can be exhausting.
What is the first book that made you cry?
The first book that made me cry was Charlotte's Web. I remember reading that book and crying because Wilbur didn't have any friends and was so sad when Charlotte died (I hope I didn't spoil it for anyone!). I loved the relationship between Charlotte and Wilbur.
How did publishing your first book change your process of writing?
I’ve read a lot about writing to market, in other words, to write what readers want to read. I believe that works well in romance, mystery, and other fiction categories. Still, it would be best to write what you know for non-fiction writing, such as memoirs or women and parenting topics. If you’re authentic, it comes through on the pages. If you give readers what you think they want, they can spot that a mile away. Of course, you can’t always please everyone, so if I learned anything from the first book, it’s to grow a spine and let things roll off. You can learn a thing or two from other’s critiques if it’s constructive and not mean-spirited.
What do you owe the real people upon whom you base your characters?
Since I write mainly about the women who helped guide me in my motherhood journey, I owe them everything! Motherhood is a group thing some days, and I’m fortunate to have a fantastic group of mom friends (some who’ve been in my life long before they even had kids) to help me. I also owe my husband a lot of gratitude for his loving patience when dealing with me on our road to parenthood. We had a lot of ups and downs to get there, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have by my side helping navigate it all. And, of course, I have so many thanks to give my own mother, who will always be my beacon of all things in life, but especially how to raise a loving, respectful child. Oh, I’d be remiss if I didn’t give a shout-out to the main character of the book – my son! He’s so easy to write about because every day is an adventure, and his curious and fun personality never dulls my life.
Where did your love of books/storytelling/reading/writing/etc. come from?
I’ve loved reading since I was a little girl. My mom would take me to the library, and we’d check out several books at a time to read together and as I got older, on my own. Growing up, I had a reading comprehension problem, so writing stories was much easier for me. I love telling stories, too, especially those related to my life experiences and observations of people and places around me.
What do you like to read in your free time?
Lately, I’ve been drawn to historical fiction books. I’m fascinated by how a writer can take a real person or actual event and turn it into a wonderful book that you have a hard time distinguishing fact from fiction. I also love a good mystery.
Can you share some stories about people you met while researching this book?
Since the book is about my life and journey, I didn’t necessarily meet anyone new. But I did have fun recounting my experiences with my family and friends, especially times I may have forgotten. Still, I quickly remembered when choosing to write about them. One incident I write about is an entertaining evening with a group of mom friends that ended with 20 bottles of wine, a broken shoe, and walking through the streets of New York City barefoot. Good times!
Why did you choose to write in your particular field or genre? If you write more than one, how do you balance them?
I love looking at the world and seeing how my life fits in. One of my all-time favorite writers is Judy Blume, not because of her name! She has said she drew inspiration through people-watching and figuring out what was missing in their lives. She also said the characters she wrote about lived in her head long before she brought them to life.
I love writing about life experiences and how my stories can resonate or support others in similar situations.
How do you begin writing a new book? What challenges come with it?
I begin writing a book by discussing ideas and themes and deciding if I have enough material to tell the story. When I get the idea, I immediately start thinking about the timeframe and look at personal photos, old calendar entries, and music/current events to help jog my memories. The challenge is putting it all together to make a cohesive story that someone will care about and then deciding what to include and what not to include.
Share a place that inspires you to write
I have a very cozy, super quiet corner in our basement where my desk is. My dog, Toby—a cute 15-pound Yorkshire Terrier—is often next to me at my feet or lounging in the chair next to my desk. I’m very fortunate to have a pool in my backyard, so in the late spring/summertime, I like sitting on a lounge chair at the pool with Toby at my feet.
About the Author
Judy Haveson is the award-winning author of Laugh Cry Rewind—A Memoir. She is known for her sarcastic humor and enjoys sharing stories about her life experiences and observations. Her fascination with storytelling comes from her decades-long career in public relations. Judy once had a boss tell her that there are two types of people: those who know and those who want to know. That boss fired her, but his words became a valuable lesson to always aim to be the one who knows. Judy lives in Hampton Bays, NY, with her husband, Adam, son, Jack, and adorable Yorkie, Toby.
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