Become You
by Toneka R. Etienne, Ph.D.
GENRE: Self-Help, Personal Development
BLURB:
Ready to create lasting transformation in your life? Become You
reveals a practical lifestyle blueprint for the modern day woman. Begin your
deep dive transformation by turning an honest, but loving mirror on your belief
systems, habits, and spiritual life. This book will help you create a balanced
lifestyle so that you can passionately pursue your goals and dreams without
losing yourself in the process.
EXCERPT:
Procrastination
Procrastinating is the art of actively postponing or
delaying something. And it’s just another one of the
obstacles that can potentially stand in the way of living the
life of your dreams. But did you know there are different
kinds of procrastinators? See if you fit into one of the
following categories.
1. Thrill-seeker - These are usually your last minute,
“get it done” kind of people. They wait until the last
minute to complete an important task or project and
attribute their procrastination to their “zone of genius.” I
am very guilty of embodying this one right here. I spent
the majority of graduate school being a thrill-seeker. I
would wait until the weekend before a huge paper was due
and spend the next day and a half writing around the clock
to get it done. This form of procrastination always caused
me a great deal of self-inflicted stress, and after finishing an
assignment, I’d always promise myself I wasn’t going to do
it again.
2. The Avoider - This person usually procrastinates
by avoiding the task and usually does so out of either fear
of success or fear of failure. This one crept up for me as I
was writing this book. So many times while thinking about
this book, I thought, “No one wants to hear what you have
to say.” I also thought about how the success of this book
could change my life, which brought up some fears that I
didn’t realize I had.
3. The Indecisive - This person can’t and won’t make
a decision. Unfortunately, even with her lack of action, she
still won’t take responsibility for her outcomes. Very rarely
does this type of procrastinator believe she has any
responsibility for her life, and she presents herself as a
victim in most situations.
So how can you combat procrastination?
Break it down. You can get really overwhelmed by a
complex task or project. Sometimes you may have a
project you want to tackle, but once you start to think
about all the pieces of the puzzle, it gets all too daunting.
At that point, you can either turn into the avoider or the
indecisive.
So instead of looking at the project as this huge
mountain of a task, break it down in steps.
That was one of the things that helped me to complete
my dissertation. I focused on one chapter at a time and
didn’t allow myself to even think about steps 2 through
100!
Here’s another great tip if you’re still stuck: start at
either the beginning or the end and fill in the pieces along
the way. I almost never know exactly how something I
write is going to turn out. I start with just one section, and
it develops from there. You just have to trust the process
and take it one step at a time.
Reward yourself. As I stated before, I can be the thrillseeker
type of procrastinator, since I get so emotionally
charged up about the things I have to do. So to add some
spice to the mix, I put myself on a reward system to get
things done. I give myself a deadline to complete
something, and if I do it on schedule, I treat myself to
something that I know I’ll enjoy. I started with very simple
rewards, like an extra scoop of ice cream or a new
necklace. I realized that when I procrastinated, this dark
cloud remained over me, and I couldn’t enjoy my leisure
time. So I started to reward myself with things like more
family time, an afternoon at the park with my girls, or a
date night with my husband.
I’ve mentioned breaking down your tasks.
You don’t have to complete the huge task
to reward yourself. Instead, implement little rewards along
the way. While writing this book, I would give myself short
tasks to complete a section, knowing that if I did so, the
weekend time I spent with my family would be that much
more rewarding and pleasurable since I’d knocked
something off my list.
Reframe. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your
emotions and fears that you forget why you started on this
journey in the first place. To reframe is to connect back to
your why. it’s your reminder of what’s most important.
When you connect to the driving force behind your
journey, allow that force to propel you forward in spite of
the temptation of procrastination.
Disconnect. Eliminate all possible distractions to create
your work environment. Turn off the cell phone and
television. Create a clean work space—whatever you need
to do to help you focus and get to work. When I go into
serious creation mode, I have to completely remove myself
from any familiar environments. While finishing my
dissertation, I spent two and a half days locked in a hotel
room. I wrote, ate, slept, repeat. And it worked for me, I
completed two of my five chapters. And for this book, I
took the same approach. For three days, I focused all my
attention on this book, in a hotel room, with tiny rewards
along the way. I rewarded myself with a brownie one
night, a hot tub party with my husband and daughters in
the hotel another night, and a new bathing suit the last
night.
AUTHOR BIO:
Toneka R. Etienne, Ph.D., is a Psychologist, wife, mother,
Huffington Post contributor, and creator at www.tonekaetienne.com.
Toneka is a self-love advocate encouraging women to balance their daily lives
with the ambition to continually pursue their dreams. Her calling is to fully
support women as they call soulful purpose and intention into their life and
business connected to their deepest and most authentic selves. When she’s not
holding sacred space for women’s transformation, Toneka can be found doing her
favorite things: spending time with her husband and two daughters, traveling,
reading, connecting with like-minded visionaries, and looking for divine
inspiration.
Giveaway:
A signed copy of Become You
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