Relationships/Self Help
Date Published: February 14, 2020
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing; ebook distributed by Simon & Schuster
Married for 33 years, David, a divorce lawyer, and Julie, a family therapist, have both been witness to families struggling with life’s most difficult challenges. At the same time, they have weathered their own challenges at home: raising four daughters, two biological and two adopted, and dealing with one child’s mental health and behavioral issues. What they’ve learned about saving a marriage or knowing when to call it quits, when to turn to professionals or when to try tough love, could fill a book—and it does.
Interview with Julie Bulitt, LCSW-C & David Bulitt, JD
What was the hardest scene from your book to write?
DB: For me, the chapter titled “NO ONE SENDS YOU DINNER WHEN YOUR KID IS IN THE PSYCH WARD” was the most painful to write and is still particularly difficult for me to read. Also in our Parents and Partners section, my letter to my other kids was tough to write. It forced me to face some shortcomings and failures as a parent. And as we all know, you cant turn the clock back.
JULIE: The most intimate portion surprisingly was not the sex. It was about parenting our special needs daughter. For me, sharing my pain and struggle with her was the most difficult. I also have heard that people who read it got a lot out of it. Misery loves company and I think that readers for the most part appreciate our being honest and real rather than hiding behind our degrees and professional licenses.
Why did you choose to write in your particular field or genre?
DB: After having had two novels published on my own, i was looking to do something different. Julie and I were literally sitting on the beach one day talking about issues we were facing in our respective practices, we both sort of laughed and like many folks think, said “we should write a book.” So we did.
JULIE: Like David said, it just sort of came to us. We decided to do it and we did.
If you write in more than one genre, how do you balance them?
DB: The fiction is much easier and in a lot of ways more fun for me to write. One of the reasons I write is to escape a bit from my day to day divorce lawyer work. When Julie and I write together, my side of the conversation generally emanates from my lawyer’s perspective and as a result that same escape is not there.
JULIE: That’s funny. If you told my parents years ago that I would be the one of their kids who became a published author, they would have laughed you out of the house.
What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
DB: The process of our writing the book itself was just a ton of fun. The two of us spent countless hours remembering and rehashing many of the conversations we had over the years, sometimes over coffee in the morning, and more often over cocktails when the work day was done. The two of us laughed a lot, particularly when we got into the section on sex that we titled Bumping and Grinding.
JULIE: The process of our two strengths. When we get asked this question - which is a lot - I compare it to Rumpelstiltskin. I was often the ideas generator. I cant write well so I sent David notes and emails, many of which had very bad spelling and little to no punctuation. David took those ideas and ran with them, turned them into something readable.
What book that you have read has most influenced your life?
DB: I am not sure how much it has influenced my life, but The Crying Heart Tattoo by David Lozell Martin is probably my favorite book I have ever read. The way that the author toggles back and forth between what is happening in the protagonist’s life and a fictional story that a woman told him years ago I thought was just brilliant and terribly interesting to read. I have probably read the book three time.s
JULIE: I would say that The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. Also as a parent, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel.
Tell us a little about yourself? Perhaps something not many people know?
DB: As outgoing and talkative as I can be, I often prefer to be on my own and with my dogs. They make the best companions and are always supportive of my ideas.
JULIE: I knew that my English was weak since i did not pay any attention in high school. After graduating form the University of Maryland - magna cum laude - I took a remedial English class at a local community college to better prepare me for graduate school.
Can you tell us something about your book that is not in the summary?
DB: I don’t think any of our kids have read it. When we started the project, we made the decision early on to lay it all out there. Most folks seem to really appreciate that, although others have commented “TMI” or thoughts along those lines. That might be why our kids have shied away.
JULIE: What I like most about the book is its humanity and what I hope is an inherent connection that we make with our readers, precisely because it is not a scientific approach. Instead, it is our own views of how we see people and relationships in the raw, real aspects of our lives.
About the Authors
DAVID AND JULIE have been married for 33 years. They have four daughters, two of whom are biological and two adopted, and three grandchildren. They divide their time between suburban Washington, D.C. and Bethany Beach, Delaware. Learn more about David and Julie at www.thebulitts.com.
Contact Links
Facebook: @thebulitts
Twitter: @thebulitts
Instagram: @thebulitts
You Tube channel The Bulitts
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