Non Fiction
Date Published: July 10, 2020
“I Love You Always” introduces you to Lottie Mae Polk Berry, am self-proclaimed badass who battles Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia for years, hoping to make it to age 90. Her daughter, LaBena, gives a detailed account of Lottie’s life from her teenage years, through diagnosis and beyond.
“I Love You Always” will have you on an emotional roller-coaster as Lottie’s wit and antics send you into hysterical laughter one moment and leave you silently sobbing the next. Calm, turbulence, and laughter are recurring themes throughout.
Her children struggle to see that she receives the best medical care while hoping, in spite of her condition, that she makes it to her 90th birthday. LaBena shares valuable caregiver tips she’s learned, in the form of “lessons” throughout the book as well as messages of faith in the form of beloved biblical passages. Believers and non-believers alike can benefit from reading this story.
Interview with LaBena Fleming
What was the hardest scene from your book to write?
There is a scene where I visit my mom, who is in the hospital. When I enter her room, she says, “Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my house?” This was the first time Mom did not know who I was, and it was the moment I had been dreading since her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Although I knew it was coming, there was no way to prepare for it. Writing about it broke my heart all over again.
Why did you choose to write in your particular field or genre?
I don’t feel like I “chose” to write my book (non-fiction) at all. I thought it was something I was led to do. While caring for my mother, I was compelled to keep a journal and later develop that journal into a book. That was the impetus of I Love You Always, One Family’s Alzheimer’s/Dementia Journey and the Lessons Learned Along the Way. It was a challenging labor of love and a story that needed to be told. My desire to help others and spare people some of the challenges my family and I experienced fueled it forward.
If you write in more than one genre, how do you balance them?
Before writing I Love You Always, I’d only written poetry and song lyrics. Having not written for several years prior to I Love You Always, “balancing” was not an issue. I am currently writing a journal as an accompaniment to I Love You Always and, by request of friends and family, am trying my hand at fiction by way of a romance novel. I’m finding that I write what I feel and feel what I write. I can be working on my journal one moment and the romance novel the next. I guess that means that I’ve yet to find real “balance.”
What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
If I am frank, I didn’t enjoy writing this book at all. Although cathartic, it was also harrowing. I began writing shortly after my mother’s death but would take months off at a time because the story was too raw. I experienced a myriad of feelings throughout the writing process. I would have to stop and regroup as I dealt with those emotions, so the book was two years in the making. If I had to say I enjoyed something, I would have to say I enjoyed finishing it.
What book that you have read has most influenced your life?
Without a doubt, the Bible. I have read it cover to cover twice and am close to completing my third read through. It has helped me find direction when I felt lost, and it keeps me honest in my writing and other aspects of my life. There is no close second.
Tell us a little about yourself? Perhaps something not many people know.
I have experienced more lows in my life than I care to talk about, but I have always managed to rise above them. It is my firm faith that has sustained me each time. Faith carried me through any trial or test that has was in front of me. I don’t think I could have survived caring for my mom without belief in a higher power. I’ve come to learn that faith does not mean you won’t go through trials; it means you understand that God is with you despite those trials, and He will give you what you need to make it to the other side.
Fun fact: I was a big winner on Wheel of Fortune in 1987!
Can you tell us something about your book that is not in the summary?
As caregivers of persons with dementia, we sometimes allow ourselves to get hung up on what the illness does to us and how caring for that person with dementia disrupts our lives. I Love You Always attempts to shift the focus back to who the person with dementia was before the disease, what that person loses, and remind us when times are tough that it’s the disease that’s the problem, not the person. It attempts to evoke a spirit of empathy as opposed to anger. It attempts to show how much more can be accomplished when families work together and the importance of planning. It’s a family love story.
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