Dragon(e) Baby Gone
(Reports from the Department of Intangible Assets Book 1)
by Robert Gainey
GENRE: Mystery Fantasy
BLURB:
Diane Morris is part of the thin line separating a happy, mundane world from all of the horrors of the anomalous. Her federal agency is underfunded, understaffed, and misunderstood, and she’d rather transfer to the boring safety of Logistics than remain a field agent. When a troupe of international thieves make off with a pair of dragon eggs, Diane has no choice but to ally with a demon against the forces looking to leave her city a smoldering crater. Facing down rogue wizards, fiery elementals, and crazed gunmen, it’s a race against time to get the precious cargo back before the dragon wakes up and unleashes hell.
Excerpt:
Modern times gave way to a general idea that reason and logic were enough to stop something from dragging you into the sewers and wearing your skin to protect itself from daylight. It’s easy to see why: it doesn’t happen to a lot of people, therefore it must not happen. I see it all the time, people who say things like “I’ve never seen a ghost, so they must not exist.”
Oh yeah? Because if spirits did exist, they’d all be tripping over their ghost dicks to haunt you? Do you understand the preternatural forces that conspire, the circumstances that line up, to create any kind of ghost? Let alone one that shows up in your room at night and moans about revenge or betrayal or rattles some chains and teaches you a valuable lesson about being selfish?
“Well, there’s no such thing as Bigfoot. All those pictures are super blurry and grainy,” they say, their voices nasally and snobby, like all the knowledge of the world is pumped directly into their tiny brains through their tiny phones. Go stand out in a remote Colorado forest one night. Turn off your phone, open your eyes and ears, and wait. When you feel those eyes watching, and when you know, deep in that primitive monkey brain, way, way down inside, that there’s more than just the animals you have names for sharing that clearing with you, then you can call me to tell me that there’s no such thing as Bigfoot.
That is, if you live to turn your phone back on again.
Interview with Robert Gainey
Any weird things you do when you’re alone?
I think everyone has phantom conversations when they’re on their own, but I have a tendency to talk to whatever inanimate object I’m interacting with. You know, thank the microwave for doing a good job, chastise the computer for running a little slowly. Did the dishwasher not completely clean something? Time to let it know I’m disappointed in this behavior. I expect better. Don’t let it happen again.
What is your favorite quote and why?
“Sola dosis facit venenum – Only the dose makes the poison.”
Paracelsus, the father of modern toxicology.
I first heard this quote in an advanced hazardous materials life support class, as we were about to discuss the effects of nerve gas and pesticides on the human body. This has a literal application, of course, in the form of certain chemicals that are used to control heart arrhythmias which are derived from toxic plants. Minute doses are beneficial while careless application is fatal. In life, this is the case with most things, even those that aren’t literally toxic.
Who is your favorite author and why?
Terry Pratchett is indisputably my favorite author and, in my opinion, the finest writer of fantasy to have ever lived. I know it’s a bold statement to make. There are many incredible writers out there who are contenders. For me, Pratchett showed in every sentence a love of the craft not often seen. You can just tell he was having so much fun crafting Discworld word by word, and the enduring greatness of that work remains to this day.
What, in your opinion, are the most important elements of good writing?
Immersion is the single most important big of good storytelling and therefore good writing. No matter how fancy the words, how dignified the punctuation, how neat the margins, any story that doesn’t immerse its reader like a carnival dunk tank is falling short of its potential. We’ve all read something at some point where, like a diver coming up for air, we find ourselves disoriented with the real world and need a moment to figure out what’s happening. Immersion is the product of compelling characters, relatable emotions, and an understandable plot. There are exceptions, of course, but for me this is what gets me into a book and keeps me there until the bubbles stop.
Where did you get the idea for this book?
Dragon(e) Baby Gone is the product of a conversation I once had with a friend of mine about the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. During this conversation, it was stated that the FWC has extremely broad powers to search and seize property, and has the authority to supersede almost any other agency in its investigation. I made a remark that they only have these powers because they’re trying to cover up the existence of Bigfoot in the Florida swamps. Whether this is true or not, the idea took root and from it grew the concept of the Department of Intangible Assets. Of course, the DIA is concerned with more than just Bigfoot, and they’re a part of the much larger FBI, but it all comes down to that speculative conversation.
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Robert Gainey is a born and raised Floridian, despite his best efforts. While enrolled at Florida State University and studying English (a language spoken on a small island near Europe), Robert began volunteering for the campus medical response team, opening up a great new passion in his life. Following graduation, he pursued further training through paramedic and firefighting programs, going on to become a full time professional firefighter in the State of Florida. He currently lives and works in Northeast Florida with his wife and dogs, who make sure he gets walked regularly. Robert writes near-fetched fantasy novels inspired by the madness and courage found in everyday events.
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BUY LINKS:
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ Google Books
3 comments:
Thanks for hosting!
I had a lot of fun with these questions! Thanks so much for having me here today.
Sounds like a great read.
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